I Need A Gun

Maybe that is too bold of a statement.  But in my fantasy, I could shoot myself and put myself out of my misery, then be back when I'm pain free! (I know, totally unrealistic. Who said fantasies were anywhere near reality?)

I'm back to being achy, headachy and miserable.  Really, I think a bullet might solve the issue.

No, I'm not suicidal, I'm just hurting.  I'd want it to be a Groundhog day experience with the ability to control what I got to re-experience.  But, as we all know, it just doesn't work that way. sigh

I can't get back in to see the rheumatologist until Thanksgiving week.  My family is not getting the whole I'm tired, sore, and achy leave me alone thing. And I still have to get up every day and go to work.

I was doing okay for a while the achiness was marginal, just a twinge or so here and there. Now it's back to the 'I feel like I've been beaten by a spiked bat'.  I'm not sleeping well. I can't get comfortable, I toss and turn, waking myself up.  I just don't know what to do.

The last thing I can do is get stressed out about it, but I'm finding it to be a vicious circle.

I'm just going to do my best to just breathe.  Relax, the best I can.  And pray for relief.

And if all fails, find a Nerf Gun and go to town!