Christmas Celebration

This Christmas has been a weird mixture of celebration and reticence.

Christmas is the time where people have been know to test the limits of my patience and endurance.  For the longest time I had no idea why.  Maybe, I was going crazy. Maybe, I was just plain cranky. Maybe, I was just a witch.

The relief I felt when I had an explanation given to me in September was a pure relief. I was none of the above.  Simply put - I was sick.

Having a parameter to work within suddenly made my ability to enjoy the holidays much more attainable.

This brings me to this merriest of days.  Instead of reading my mother's mind, holiday preparation became more of a team effort.  I could say 'no' and not feel guilty, picking and choosing what was important to me.  Making the interactions I chose that more valuable and remarkable to me.

Today, we had a ton of people over.  Kids running amok. A small dog like creature who was finally put into place by my very cranky cat. And my very happy pit bull who was the happiest of social butterflies.  Giving as much love as he received.  When the noise levels reached super sonic levels, I just found a quiet corner for a little bit.  Others gravitated with me seeking the same quiet.

Not that I don't have special memories of past Christmas's, but today is special to me because I could understand what my needs were and address them.

When the hoards left happy and full, the silence that filled the house was deafening yet comforting. The cessation of noise flung my already simmering head into a full blown migraine.

So, with the help of modern medicine, I settled in for a long winter nap.

Yes, the holidays are manageable.  With planning, perseverance and chutzpah.

Merry Christmas everyone!