I have to admit that I'm not doing so well at the Work/Life balance thing. Really, honestly it has to do with a deep seated fear that if I slow down, I'll end up stalling.
I know that fear is irrational. But it is valid. I feel myself slowing down. I resent needing to slow down. I've always been the one juggling a ton of things and getting them done. While it is a cold comfort that I have a reason that my brain fogs out when I do too many things, I just get irritated with this limitation.
Okay, yes I'm pitching a bit of a hissy fit. If the visual of me kicking my heels on the floor and banging my fists in time with my feet like a three year old helps the visual, enjoy.
So, you've heard from the irrational, scared, angry part of me. The more accepting, zen part of me is doing her best to pick up the toddler self and calm her down. Letting her know that in the end it will all be okay. That the limitations are just something to be worked around, over, under, and through. It's okay to be upset by the changes. The cold hard reality check is that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change my circumstances.
Instead of whinging about it, the rational part of me tells me to let things go. I don't have to do everything I want to do at once. At work, I can slow down. I NEED to slow down. The people with whom I've work with, who know me and trust me, will work with me in my new circumstances. It's me that has to be okay.
Yes, I give myself permission to be slower and feel like crap while I'm getting the stuff done that must get done.
I'll celebrate the good days and be grateful for everyday that I have.
As my rational self soothes my fearful toddler self. The two will merge to become a stronger person able to still make the leaps of faith needed to live with gusto and have the serenity to step back as circumstances dictate.
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